First, there is a reason you don’t see commercials about products that improve a piece of paper used to wipe your dirty ass – because it’s a waste of time.  Second, this product (and it’s commercials) don’t show the reality of what is going on.

Take 30 seconds to watch the commercial below, and then continue reading.

Before I explain how stupid this is, let me be the first to say that I am guilty of sitting around and talking about how “regular” I am, but there is always a time and place for that – well not really, but this isn’t about me, so shut up.

Issue #1 – if I am taking the time to cook you a meal, and you spend the “prep time” talking to me about how I have disrespected my toilet paper roll, you can be damn sure you will (at the very least) get slapped right across your mouth.  Don’t diss a person’s ass paper while they are taking the time to cook you a meal, or they will hide it from you when you need it most – 10 minutes after eating the undercooked chili I made to get back at you.

Issue #2 – and this is the MOST important one.  If you are any type of NORMAL human being, you know what I mean when I say there are instances when TIME is a necessity, and I know you know what I mean.  When I am running like a bat out of hell to the bathroom, and I sit down to notice you didn’t put a new roll on the dispenser, I can assure you that I am not interested in any contraptions that make it MORE difficult for me to clean up and be on my merry way.

The idea of a cute cover for your toilet paper is not the issue.  The issue is that it’s too difficult.  Why not have it sit on top of the roll to be easily lifted off when necessary?  No, instead some “designer” makes me have to lift off the lid, turn the cover upside down and dump out the paper.  That’s brilliant – wait, no it’s not.  It’s idiotic.

If I come over to your house, and you make me jump through that many hoops just to get a new roll of toilet paper, you will have a much messier, disgusting problem than just an uncovered roll.  So help keep your bathroom clean by making the toilet paper easily accessible.  These have worked just fine for years.