It’s no secret that I’ve struggled with my weight since I hit puberty and my voice got inexplicably higher rather than lower. In fact, a quick scroll through my Facebook photos will show you a history of my yo-yo “fat face syndrome.”

Besides the frustration experienced with the fact that I can’t keep the weight off, I generally want to gouge my eyes out when shopping for clothes that can fit a 6’2″ wooly mammoth. So when I find something that actually fits me, I cling to it until the last thread unravels.

Case in point: my old Under Armour shirts that have seen better days. But they breathe and they’re incredibly comfortable. Plus, they fit. Which is getting more and more rare.

As if the aforementioned problems weren’t enough to make you give up completely, retailers seem to have a firm understanding of what larger men want: Hawaiian shirts and plain colors – use of color is strictly prohibited at ALL times.

To prove my point, here’s an extremely comfortable Columbia Sportswear crew shirt in regular sizes.


Here’s the same shirt in extended (tall) sizes. Notice that white, black, green and the occasional Grey are the only selection of colors, compared with 23 colors in regular sizes.


The bottom line: fat people look unattractive by design. It’s the clothing industry’s fault that we look like walking curtains.

Thank you.