Ok, straight peeps.  By now, I’m sure you have watched enough episodes of Will & Grace to think you clearly understand gay people.  You’re 95% sure that we all spend our time reciting Cher songs word-for-word and gawking at the shirtless male form on Instagram. And while you’re correct, there are a FEW stereotypes that will NEVER stick.  Here are five that immediately come to mind.

  1. Not all guys are hot This is an interesting topic.  I’ve had both men and women discuss this with me at length, and I can say without hesitation that just because you are of the masculine persuasion, I don’t immediately want to get in your pants. In the past, friends and colleagues have asked me if being gay means you are attracted to all men.  Absolutely not.  In fact, the general rule of thumb for me is this: if one of my girl friends doesn’t find you attractive, I probably won’t either.  Sorry guys, it’s the truth. And I’ve had very unattractive guys who have assumed that because I was being polite, I was attracted to them.  After I throw up in my mouth and then brush my teeth, I quickly set them straight – pun intended
  2. Homophobia is for the uglies – Have you ever noticed that 99% of men who are speaking about how “gay is a sin” and “all the gays should be killed” are unattractive?  That’s all I have to say about that
  3. Justin Bieber needs to keep his shirt on – Sorry folks, but there is no universe where I want to see Facebook posts every 10 minutes about this duffus posing for Calvin Klein ads.  And sorry, but anyone who has to have their muscles photoshopped is probably not very high on my priority list
  4. All gays assume Ryan Seacrest hasn’t made the decision to come out yet – Well, apparently straight people think that as well.  I stand corrected.
  5. We know when we’re being gay-baited – and we don’t care! Nick Jonas has taken a LOT of flack lately for accusations that he’s been baiting gays to buy his music by showing off his abs all the time and going to gay bars.  First, I’ve never listened to the Jonas Brothers’ music, but after seeing Nick’s abs I kinda wish I had.  He’s hot, and I approve.  Bait away, dude! We’re not stupid, we know when we’re being played.  We just don’t care.  Unless it’s Ryan Seacrest who is baiting.  See number 4

Bottom line: we love Cher.

– D